Changes in Korean Adoption

According to the buzz on the Korean adoption bulletin boards, Korea has put a halt to referrals for international adoption until new policies on international adoption can be digested and put into place by the Korean agencies that handle adoption. In addition, Korean lawmaker Ko Kyung Hwa has proposed a law that will make international adoption illegal. From what I’ve read in the Korean newspapers, this law is in part a response to Korea’s declining birth rate. However, since the Seoul Olympics, Korea has fought to shake its image as a "baby exporter." Currently, there are quotas in place that limit the number of babies that can leave the country each year. I read in the newspaper that last year roughly 41% of adoptions were domestic, while the remaining adoptions (just over 2000 babies) were international. It appears that under the new rules, a baby can’t be placed for international adoption until the child is at least 5 months old. All options of domestic adoption must be attempted first. Also, Korean families will be given financial incentives to adopt and singles will be allowed to adopt as well.

Obviously, the rule changes have caused a bit of angst to those in the process of adoption. To be sure, if you are hoping for a child, uncertainty and delays can be maddening. In fact, one of the reasons we chose to adopt from Korea many years ago was the predictability of the process. One US agency is encouraging adult adoptees to write to Ko and let her know that adoption was a good thing for them. The agency of course says they support domestic adoption, but do not want to see international adoption ruled out as an option. As pure as their intentions are, it did make me uncomfortable to see a US agency organize this effort. From the US side of things, I think we need to step back and let Korea figure this out. It is really their issue.

If Korea does cut back on international adoption, I do worry for the children caught in the middle. It would be nice for international adoption to die out on its own because of the increase of domestic adoption and the support of the single mom. However, maybe it takes such a definitive step to finally end overseas adoption for Korea and force change. Have views on adoption changed that much and will the society be more supportive of the single mom? Any drama fan knows that being adopted can be considered a bad thing in Korea. Single motherhood is also a struggle for sure- in drama world and in real life. A good friend of mine is a single mom. She moved from Korea because she did not want her daughter to face discrimination. So, she runs a Korean restaurant here in Guam. In the year and half I’ve known her, she has not once taken a day off. She had her dad helping her for awhile, but he returned to Korea. With no family support, her daughter pretty much lives at the restaurant. I think it would be so much easier on her is she didn’t feel the need to leave Korea. In addition, I think it would be sad for more children to end up in orphanages. A Korean lady that cuts my son’s hair was raised in an orphanage in Korea. She said she was forced to quit school and go to work after the 8th grade. She says her life was lonely and hard, and she knew no family until her 30s when she was reunited with her sister. I always think that international adoption should be the last resort for a child, but I wouldn’t wish life in an orphanage on my kids any day.

I absolutely realize this is such a complex issue. I spent too much time today reading the blogs of Korean adoptees disenchanted with adoption. I always try to read with an open mind, but as an adoptive parent, they sure make you feel sleazy. Honestly, I think the purposed rule changes are a good thing for Korea. Regardless, while things are changing, reality for my kids is a life with us. As a snuggled with them at bedtime and tucked them in, it really doesn’t matter to them that I’m white and they are Korean. We are a family, and a day at a time, we will make it through this world together.